I have been sick for past whole month and now, I still suffer slightly from the sickness.I think there is nothing to be ashamed of.I am OCD.OCD stands for obsessive compulsive disorder, i am OCD not I have OCD.I am it.Lol.Same thoughts kept repeating again and again in my mind until I can't continue with my daily routine.My life was disrupted by all these repetitive thoughts and behaviour.There were several nights I couldn't sleep well and there were several days my whole body was numb because of the medication I took.I told sw about it.I dunno why I wanna tell all these but I dun want to hide about it anymore.I felt scared most of the days.There were a few days that what other people said kept repeating in my mind.When they said something, the voice will automatically repeat in my brain.I was so irritated with all these obsession but I can't do anything to improve my mental health.I felt depressed nowadays that I totally neglected my study.There were few happy moments that I had been through in this month but some of my days were consumed by endless anxiety and incessant thoughts.Iwas also more sensitive to the sounds around me.For instance, I couldn't even tolerate the sound of the fan.The fluttering sounds was annoying me
.Honestly, I have anxiety problems but my case was not so serious like depression.I got headaches nowadays.I dunno what happened to me.I dunno who to tell this to cause I am afraid they will laugh at me and leave me alone.Who wants a problematic friend? I kept asking myself why all these things happen to me.Why can't I be healthy like other student.I post this blog because I wanna have some sympathy.lol.I can't finish my homework and I can't do most of the tasks well.I felt like a failure.Now, I think I am ok but I am also not ok.I am better than before yet I am not completely recovered.I can study and attend tuition all that now but sometimes, i still get bothered by the sounds around me, I still can't finish my tuition work.I am very sensitive to my surrounding for no apparent reason.Maybe it is due to this illness but I dunno what can I do to cure it.I am getting quieter cause my brain is filled with obsessive thoughts most days.Dad brought me to temple and we prayed together.We prayed at home everyday by reading the 'kitab'.Dad kept consoling me whenever I felt distressful.He kept reminding me to be happy and persistent.He said that every problems can be solved.As long as I think positively.Negative thoughts kept intruding my mind.I have to fight off all these stupid thoughts.I hate all these but I can't control my brain.Doctor said we can only have one thought at a time.Her words intrigued me.I felt terrified of my thoughts.I dunno where else can i tell all these words because I dunno how to tell my friends.For those who read this post, there is nothing I will feel ashamed about.OCD is an illness , just like fever, asthma or cancer.AN ILLNESS.It's not permanent yet the effect that it hold on some people is catastrophic.

At Pandu meeting today, all the Pandu learned first aid from Sarah.Then, we learned to sew our badge to our scarf and uniform.The most important activity was we have to decorate our mug and plant plants in it.This is my mug.
Everyone's signatures and messages are on it.
Shu wen distinctive signature, the mouse!My plant is actually a yam plant.Its kinda cute actually!!

sunset

We went back to kampong because my mum wanna meet grandma.Later, we went to kuala selangor to eat seafood at the riverside.This was the 1st time I saw sunset.After that, I kept on looking at the sun to go down entirely and waiting for the sky to turn dark in split second.I was wondering how it feels like to see the sky turn dark.I was getting impatient waiting.Time is more precious, rite??So. i moved on with the feast.

side view of the restaurant.




sunset, first time seeing.The sun just went down in few seconds.






Brother took all these pic while I was immersed in the scenery.He was always the photographer of the family who was in charge with all the family's pic.He asked me to create a facebook family album but until now, I rather blog..lol.

Sungai Selangor, the river I keep crossing since baby.


I found out about something today.However, this will not dampen my enthusiasms on blogging.Writing is my passion and I have a lot of things in mind that I want to pour out.Plus, my english has improved gradually since i blog.okla, have to study now, bye..
The restaurant.I like promoting.

There are 3 truths that I know today, the truths that will change my life, forever.....:)

Tasik Shah Alam

My mum went to PKNS building to do something so I just tagged along.This is the Shah Alam's man made lake.I think the scenery was not bad considering Shah Alam is a industrial area which is considered quite polluted compared to ther big cities.There were many big seagulls flying from one man made island to another, sticking their legs on the tree's branches and basking under the hot sun.The seagulls or bangau were huge so they were quite beautiful to look at.
The reflection.Too bad my camera was quite lousy.I like the willow trees
We are not allowed to cycle and bring our pets to walk around this park.What's the point of constructing such a nice park yet we can't cycle around it.I don't really care about the pet because I know that if i have pet, the pet will definitely suffer in the hand of irresponsible owner like me.


The man made lake.My hp is lousy.The white dots were the seagulls.That day, I was suffering from a weird illness.It was quite scary and I really felt like dying.I was cured now and perfectly healthy.Everyone, please take care of mental health and try not to pressure yourself too much.This is the only advice that I can give.

just for fun

I took all these pictures just for fun.I love the vibrance and the variety of colours plus all of these are very delicious.

It's arranged in triangle shape so I found it quite attractive.I don't really like it.
My fav fruit, must eat every day.

First fruits tha I took pic of.I love the arrangements, everything piled up like that.




I read someone's blog yesterday.The person refused to give me its blogsite but I happened to link to it.At last, all my curiousity about its relationship with another person was clear.I kept thinking about it and wondering is there true love between couple in this world that obviously make those involved suffered.I still don't have these experiences of thinking about someone so frequently but i must admit that the feeling of fancying someone is great.I feel happy even when I see him.Everything ended when I knew that he will never like me..lol

car crash

Yesterday, the car that I sat in when i came back from certain occasion crashed into a bicycle.Fortunately, the cyclist was safe because the driver did not speed up.The driver was a bit reckless in driving and he was too impatient.He knew that the indian cyclist was going to cross the road to the other side but he still steered his car ahead.Everyone can see that he will definitely bang into the indian cyclist who have a long pole on his bicycle.We can feel the impact and hear the loud 'bang' sound.That time, our heartbeats quickened and some of the passengers shouted loudly.The cyclist was safe.If not, we have to face the consequences of a car crash.

When I was fixing all the potted plants in front of my house, I realised that the bougainvillae's branch was twining and clinging to the bamboo's plant.The long hard branch was strangling the bamboo but all of my family did not bother about it.I quickly untangled the long branch.All the potted plants has either died or has yellow leaves.Some of them were infected by pest.There was one bonsai- like plants that has white cottonlike webs all over its leaves.So, i have to use tissue paper to wipe off all the white webs on every single leaves.I found a larvae hidden inside the one of the plant.It's all my fault of not taking care of all the dying potted plants and now I have to compensate for what I have done.